TO ME!!!!!

I'm too adorable to be obnoxious. But just barely.

TOMORROW

Is my birthday.

But I'm not excited or anything.


I am a liar. I am totally excited.

NO COMPLAINING, JUST A GOOD CAUSE!!

So I completely got roped into this by my coworkers before I even knew what was really happening, but I'm completely on board. We're raising money for local support programs for kids and teens. They say I don't have to run. It will be fun. Check out my profile and some information about the event and Boys and Girls Club by following this here link:
http://bgccan.akaraisin.com/pledge/Participant/Home.aspx?seid=5146&mid=9&pid=976178
And if you want to donate any amount at all to sponsor me in the race then you can do that there too and THANK YOU SO MUCH

NONONONONONO THIS IS NOT RIGHT

Generally speaking, I hate sewing with patterns. The instructions are basically throw-away-immediately -I'm-useless quality. The amount of alteration required once you actually sew the garment is usually so intensively I usually just feel that starting from scratch and inventing a pattern as I go takes the same amount of time in the end. 

Regardless, I bought a pattern today. I am making my Birthday Dress (there might be cupcakes involved) and I needed some help with the skirt part. As much as I love twirly circle and half-circle skirts, I need some different silhouettes in my wardrobe repertoire. So I picked this one: 

I don't know WHAT they were thinking with that pink silk monstrosity. It puckered like a bitch and the fly looks super awkward. Jeeze Burda, Nina Garcia would be all over your ass right now about  knowing your fabrics well enough to make wearable garments. Get it together.

Anyway, I started to cut the pattern out once I got it home and the line went on FOREVER. Kidding, it wasn't forever, but it was long enough for me to shout "Why is this so long? What is this?! A pattern for pants?!" Then I laughed because Zoolander is always so funny. And then I checked. It IS a pattern for pants. The pattern in the package is not at all what I paid for. These pants were just hiding in the skirt package waiting to spring themselves on some unsuspecting victim. They had to hide to be sold, because they are HORRIBLE. 

Behold: 

To borrow a quote from my favourite bloggers, "Pants what?"* 

I can't even...

Like... 

Sweet Caroline.

This is a heinous crime. These pants, I mean. They are terrible.

So.... does anyone want a pair? Maybe if I make them in baggy-shiny silver we can pretend they're Flash Pants?

PS: Patterns are non-returnable, and non-refundable. Whatever, I'll pay my $5 to get the skirt pattern, BUT WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE PANTS. Honestly.

PPS: I'm beyond elated that the Youtube clip caught the end of "1001 Dads." Arthur saying  "I have egg on my face!" is prime.

*Holy Moly, I actually just re-checked the Pants What link... THEY ARE THE SAME PANTS. I HAVE A PATTERN FOR FERGIE PANTS. NO GOOD SHALL COME OF THIS!

A LITTLE BIT LIKE ORANGE JUICE

Vitamin D Synthesis at its Peak

I CAN'T TELL

If that's Celine Dion humming or a violin.

Or both.

I think its both.

Whatever. I can tell that with all the apartment cleaning and belting out of theme from Titanic that this Sunday is going to be fairly productive.

THE ZIPPER IS LIKE SHARK TEETH!!

Yes, it's as friggin' comfortable as it looks. Jelly yet?

Also, I figured out how to fold them as neatly as compactly as a hoodie (though this picture is all onesies, no hoodies for comparison). Admire the fine craftsmanship regardless. ADMIRE IT.

.

 I also folded a fitted sheet into a perfect little square today. My work experiences are clearly paying off.