Naturally, I got completely sidetracked and don't remember what it was. At all.
I do know that it would have made you laugh.
I read Mindy Kaling's "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?" and basically died it was so funny. Funny in an "I definitely wrote this in my sleep and submitted it under her name because WE ARE SO THE SAME" kind of way.
That wasn't the funny thing I was going to report, but I thought it might be worth mentioning that if you are looking for a light, fun read then I suggest that. I recommend reading it in public; making passers-by uncomfortable about the Crazy Person sobbing "It's so funny because it's true!" really completes the reading experience.

As I have this page open to hopefully remember what it was I was going to say, I am simultaneously trying to finish a linguistics assignment. I am struggling because I don't pay attention in class (speaking of not paying attention, the psychologist(?)-lady with whom I spoke about this to yesterday [I just trapped myself in the ninth ring of grammar hell - Preposition Stranding- for like, 3 minutes trying to make sure I didn't desert any preps in finial position. I still don't think I got it quite right] thought I was hilarious and wrote a whole bunch of stuff on her notepad because that's what her job is. At one point she laughed so hard I didn't think we would ever get back on track [not that that is EVER a concern for me. I never end up where I was planning to. <----stranded preps. Oh noooooooo!] and she flipped her paper over and said "I have to write that down. It's not going on your file, I just need to write it down because it's so funny." Thanks Mary, I think I'm friggin' hilarious too.) Also, I think I need to invent some more parenthetical symbols for my thoughts within thoughts within thoughts. I hate these ones: { }. They look like faces who hate each other so much they can't even stare at each other across my words, and thus are ignoring me and what I'm writing between them. Like, come on Parentheses (what are they actually called? They probably have some fancy Latinish names. Like The Caesar and The Brutus), get over whatever the problem is and look interested in what I have to say. Otherwise I'll start using exclamation marks and percentage signs to indicate when I'm jumping off more tangental branches. Actually, I think I am definitely on to something here... If it's a "Hey this idea would make me a millionaire!" kind of thought I could put it between dollar signs. Circa $Patenting use of other, slightly relevant symbols as parentheses!$

I have been listening to a lot of Kesha these days. Let's forget this ever happened.

Where was I going with this?
Not paying attention in class. Right.

So because I don't pay attention I have trouble remembering what everything means when I'm reading the assignment questions and struggle with that. Then I have to search for online lessons and study guides and stuff and that involves google searches and that unavoidably leads to me watching videos about how Pterodactyls still fly free over Nevada.
(I just realized I said "circa" again. It's been, like, years since that last happened [when it happened hourly]. I still use it wrong, but I like my way so much better)
I found a study guide that looks like it's written for a slightly ADD layperson !much like myself! and was all "Oh good, I'll be golden after I read this!"

You guys, all the examples relate to superheroes.

I was ecstatic, and I'm not even exaggerating at all (and that basically never happens). Mad props to authors Laura E. Hughes and Anna Gartsman.

And then I read the phonetic alphabet example chart and then had to send this string of texts to one of my most favourite friends because I knew he'd laugh and that's my daily goal (this is like Conversations With My Sister with significantly less familial relationship [thank god] He doesn't respond either):

11:35 - One of the phonetic example words is "spandex". I actually spit tea everywhere. Understanding Librarian looked at me and shook her head like "Oh that Siobhan... such a card."  Like she's known me forever or something.
11:46 - I think there is a lot of caffeine in an extra large steeped tea maybe?
12:01 - This blog post is the single finest piece of literature I have ever concocted. Like a potion. It is quintessentially me
12:01 - Jesus I am on such a roll today.
12:01 - Like a fuckin' word hero
12:02 - I hope that you think that I am at least half as humorous as I find myself

For the record, he's at work. That's why he didn't reply. I promise he's real.
And he does think I'm pretty funny.
Because, you know, I need encouragement in that department.

No comments:

Post a Comment