WAIT... I'M ENROLLED IN WHAT?

Happy Birthday to Canada (yesterday). Canada Day is actually one of my favourite days of the year. I like summer and picnics and fireworks and I absolutely love my country. I had to work so I wasn't picnicking, but I celebrated by bringing all my coworkers strawberry shortcake cupcakes. And my best friend and I had a few beers and joined our fellow Calgarians at the festivities downtown for a few hours once we were done selling small appliances to the NO CUSTOMERS that we had all day. We wandered for a while and were both tired and called it a night at around 9, which suited us both fine.I went to bed happy and exhausted, so I think that's a success.

Red and White and a Canadian Beer. Low key and classy. A rare occurance for me.

The other day I mentioned that I wore my pink dress that I made. This is probably the girliest picture of me in history. Why did I do that with my face? I don't understand. Jeeze... Anyway, it's pink. It's pretty. It helped me sell zero units of what I was demoing. Typical.

I certainly don't look like the kind of kid who would be taking a class entitled "Bang your head! The History of Heavy Metal" for the next 6 weeks. Admittedly I am enrolled in the class mistakenly after a serious miscommunication on the part of the school. They told me it was something else. It is not. But there is neither a textbook nor a final exam. I'll be learning about something I haven't learned before. We have presentations to do. I might play a facemelting solo on my ukulele. Bam. Instant A.

In other news, my allergies make it feel like there are tiny men in my ears mining for gold (gold being my genius ideas that my brain fabricates on occasion). I hope the heavy metal listening exams don't amplify this feeling. Because it quite honestly feels like this guy has just taken up residence in my ear canals:

Yes, he's been with me since March

This afternoon I am reading and writing and sewing and drawing and cleaning.

And napping. Gotta nap, it's pretty much as essential as breathing.

A NATURAL DISASTER TO THE THIGHS MAYBE

I have one final left.
And about 6 boxes of Kleenex worth of sickness still in my body. Pretty standard really.
But I'm not contagious, and I wash my hands a lot (you're WELCOME world).
My two finals yesterday went as follows:

Astronomy
           8:00am:  These seats are assigned? Well I'm in the wrong spot...
           8:03:  I'm SO GOOD at filling out Scantron sheets! I wish I got bonus points for speed and accuracy in filling out my name and student number. Good start. Other than being in the wrong spot.
           8:07: I got this... I know most of these answers!
           8:14: Well eff you page 8.
           8:30: I think I have 60 of the first 90 questions most likely right. I can pass? I'm passing? I think I'll pass?
           8:45: Calculations... why are you so intensive? If you have more than one conversion and at least 3 steps I'm just going to guess the answer. I have a 25% chance of guessing right. I have a 100% chance of still not figuring out how to solve this problem an hour from now... Guessing it is.
           9:05: And that is as good as it will ever get. Thanks for that... learning experience.. physics..?

Incas and their Successors
      3:30 pm: Well I don't know any of this material.
      3:37: Yep. I didn't know a single one of those 40 answers. I'm failing the class? I think? I'm probably failing?
      3:38: Thanks for that... insight into my life?.. Incas? I still blame Zimmer.
       

Anyway, those are in the past. As is my take-home final that I wrote and handed in this morning (4 days EARLY!) And I just have Primatology left. I like primatology. I'm excited to review my notes and go over everything that I've learned! So excited that I made some cookies. Only 10. It was an experimental batch, you know how it is with new recipes when you're too broke to waste precious cocoa on a full batch of possibly Not-Worth-It-Cookies (they exist).
They're okay. They look like an experiment in plate tectonics. Hahahahhaaaaa, and they're on a plate. Have I mentioned that my sleep patterns are still thoroughly disturbed? Humour me. They're not my finest work, I'll probably take them over to the Boys' House and let them deal with it.

Natural Disaster Cookies... I wish I was more enthused about these. So much wasted potential.

In better news... my photography skills are improving? I think they're improving? Maybe? I'm passing?

WHAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF! (NAMELY SUGAR, FLOUR AND DELICIOUS)

I finally finished the cupcakes at 11:30.

About a quarter of the way through I started with the "DEAR GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING!?"
I still haven't got an answer, just sayin'.

The kiwi ones (there were two and a half) actually taste pretty good! But they're a little bit green. Not green enough to be all "Oh Hai, I'm a green cupcake ON PURPOSE", but just green enough to be all "I'm delicious, please overlook my slightly off-putting colour to enjoy me."

"You guys can't tell, can you? Right? I look fine?"

 When it was over at last, I wanted to take a picture to document the quantity and quality of all 4 batches (*note: it would have been 2 batches if I had more than one muffin tin. BUT I DON'T). I took some pictures. As I was taking them I kindof laughed thinking they looked like an army. And they maybe were mobilizing to overthrow me.

"We never forget"

I flashed back to when I said that eating cupcakes is my favourite part of making them.

I couldn't sleep! I keep thinking what if I accidentally baked cupcakes of VENGEANCE!!!!!

What if I'm overreacting?

Because that never happens ever. HAhahaha!



AND HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun! Get silly! Don't get mauled by cupcakes!

LIVE UPDATE!

It's taking sooooooo long! THERE ARE SO MANY CUPCAKES.

YOU GUYS! IT'S CUPCAKE TIME!

I'm such a terrible photographer it's almost funny

Not quite yet actually, sorry to get you all pumped up like my new kicks (I legitimately bought new sneakers today) These are they them? they -------------------------->

Anyway, I have to clean the kitchen before I can bake. Then I'll bake and have to clean the kitchen again. My favourite part about cupcakes has to be the cleaning up (I'm lying, my favourite part is eating them). I'm making a whole bunch tonight for my coworkers tomorrow since it's St. Patrick's day and instead of getting loaded at 11am we're all going to be selling fridges and pillows and bras to old ladies or something. I don't know. I don't pay attention all the time. Regardless, everyone likes when I bake and everyone hates when I run out of treats early. So I'll make more this time. I can't give you numbers, just, like, a whole bunch.

AND I bought kiwis today! And I have strawberry cream cheese. So I'm thinking I will do an experiment in which I make a whole slew of vanilla cupcakes then when I'm down to the last of the batter I'll turn it into a kiwi thing and then ice it with strawberry cream cheese icing. I have a suspicion that it will work out terribly, but that rarely stops me from doing things (especially harmless things like cupcake baking). What's the worst that could happen.

If it fails, I have a bag of Birthday Cake Oreos. NBD.

Just kidding. IT'S BASICALLY THE BIGGEST DEAL OF THE MONTH! IT'S BLOWING MY MIND HOW MUCH I LOVE MR CHRISTIE AND HIS FRIENDS AT NABISCO KRAFT RIGHT NOW (for the record I totally thought Nabisco had the whole Oreo thing tight in their cookie-fatted fists. I checked. I was wrong. Who knew!?!?!?)

Sorry, I thought I got that all out of my system like, 4 hours ago. Again, I was wrong. I seem to be forming a habit!

I'll let you know how it goes. Shortly.

I ONLY BAKE CUPCAKES OF TRUTH

And cookies I guess, but they're notoriously deceitful.