DEAR INTERNET: I'M SORRY I RAN AWAY

No excuses.
Except that insomnia, school, work, and writing actual writing (yaaaaaaaay!) has been keeping me from blogging.
Just those excuses.

I'm back now though! But only for a really quick post to let you all know that everything is completely normal.

My boyfriend came to say goodbye before heading home to BC for the week and looked absolutely terrified of actually coming into my apartment further than the rack of shoes by my door. From my post on the carpet I shouted:
"I know. It's scary in here. There are crayons all over the floor and the music is too loud. But it's safe. I am just creating."

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SISTER: PULLING SOME HARRY POTTER SHIT

Siobhan: I have to listen to Some Nights. It's been in my head since hayes sang it while I made
             smoothies.


Sophie: Let's listen together. say when.
           and I will hit play
           and a portal will open


Siobhan: Play
             I think the portal opened in my fridge
             it started making weird noises.
         
             Where did you go?
             ARE YOU IN MY FRIDGE?!

THE BIRDS WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LISTEN TO ME COUGHING ANYMORE

Me:
8:28: The birds outside my window woke me up by sounding like they're being strangled by the thousands. I hope you got to wake up to something thoroughly less disturbing and obnoxious. Starships perhaps.
8:35- I just texted Sophie [about the birds] and used the phrase "on the other hand". My rudely awakened brain wrote "on the other ham" and I laughed and laughed. Imagine that was a saying?! The world would be infinitely more hilarious.
8:36- Good news, even though I feel physically worse today than yesterday, mentally I'm better and in good humour.

Hayes:
8:58: I'm glad you mentally feel better but on the other ham I wish you felt physically better.

--- end of texts because I basically died laughing ---

Hahahhahahahhahahahhahaaa! Ham... You guys, it gets me every time!

Shh. I said I felt better in the sense that I was in good humour. Not that I was any less stupid.

WAIT... I'M ENROLLED IN WHAT?

Happy Birthday to Canada (yesterday). Canada Day is actually one of my favourite days of the year. I like summer and picnics and fireworks and I absolutely love my country. I had to work so I wasn't picnicking, but I celebrated by bringing all my coworkers strawberry shortcake cupcakes. And my best friend and I had a few beers and joined our fellow Calgarians at the festivities downtown for a few hours once we were done selling small appliances to the NO CUSTOMERS that we had all day. We wandered for a while and were both tired and called it a night at around 9, which suited us both fine.I went to bed happy and exhausted, so I think that's a success.

Red and White and a Canadian Beer. Low key and classy. A rare occurance for me.

The other day I mentioned that I wore my pink dress that I made. This is probably the girliest picture of me in history. Why did I do that with my face? I don't understand. Jeeze... Anyway, it's pink. It's pretty. It helped me sell zero units of what I was demoing. Typical.

I certainly don't look like the kind of kid who would be taking a class entitled "Bang your head! The History of Heavy Metal" for the next 6 weeks. Admittedly I am enrolled in the class mistakenly after a serious miscommunication on the part of the school. They told me it was something else. It is not. But there is neither a textbook nor a final exam. I'll be learning about something I haven't learned before. We have presentations to do. I might play a facemelting solo on my ukulele. Bam. Instant A.

In other news, my allergies make it feel like there are tiny men in my ears mining for gold (gold being my genius ideas that my brain fabricates on occasion). I hope the heavy metal listening exams don't amplify this feeling. Because it quite honestly feels like this guy has just taken up residence in my ear canals:

Yes, he's been with me since March

This afternoon I am reading and writing and sewing and drawing and cleaning.

And napping. Gotta nap, it's pretty much as essential as breathing.

WHAT NOW, TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES? WHAT NOW!?

To the customer at work yesterday:

Thank you for saying I'm a "total babe" while I:
a) looked like hell 
b) hated every second of demonstrating how to use the Jelly Belly Manual Ice Shaver (only $14.99! You supply the power!)

I occasionally require outside recognition that I can, in fact, be feminine. I did wear a pink dress that I sewed and designed today. Then I came home, changed into my man-shirt that I turned into a long tank top and no pants, and enjoyed 3 day old pizza and beer while watching The Walking Dead.

And made cupcakes and another dress.

It's a modern world we live in my friends. And I am glad. I am fairly certain Betty Draper would love to have been able to indulge in pizza and beer and pantsless-apartment wandering and gory shows about the undead. Maybe she would have been less of a biatch if she had done so every now and then. Sorry Betty. The truth hurts.

For the record, Mad Men bored me half to death. I only kept watching it because the constant quiet dialogue with lack of backing music made me feel like I wasn't ALWAYS home alone when I moved in to my apartment.

It could use some zombies.
I'm just saying.

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SISTER: ENCOURAGEMENT

Siobhan: I really want quesadillas
Sophie: ooh nice. Make one
Siobhan: I'm at work
Sophie: so? Ke$ha couldn't sing. Did that stop her? No, she found auto tune. You work at sears, the world is your oysters

THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT UNFAIR?

It's a bit of a dick move; posting these pictures of my latest sewing success when the intended recipient hasn't been able to admire it first-hand in all of its completed glory.

At least not with the head attached properly.
 There was an emergency involving a form of separation anxiety. Head became separated from body. It made me anxious.


Nevertheless, it has been dealt with.

So smiley! And both with such skillfully attached heads!

Anyway, it's not my fault that Creamsicle Panda is at my house and his owner? BFF? sidekick..? my boyfriend is in BC, unable to partake in cuddling the little guy's super soft fur and keeping me safe from zombies and other undead things whilst we watch The Walking Dead and reread Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (BTWs,  I don't remember if I blogged about it to say "Hey, this book is really good you guys!" before it was a movie or whatever... but I meant to. Because it is.)

But anyway, back to the bear. He's fuzzy. He's a panda. He's the colour of creamsicles. (I also forgot if I told you about my creamsicle cupcakes I made for my birthday? They tasted like creamsicles! In cupcake form! It was surreal!)

Back to the bear. He's pretty awesome.

And he's a superhero.

Of course he is. How could he not be when I was listening to the score from The Bourne Supremacy while sewing? I mean... come on now.

Try and do something NOT EPIC while this is playing.  

Here's the bear in his get-up: 

Pretty sure this is considered dancing... Pretty sure the dance maneuver pictured is, in fact, 

The Sneaky Pete.

NO, BUT REALLY, HEIGHTS ARE THE WORST

... but you are not heights. You are the opposite of the worst.

The quality of my lyric-writing abilities (poor) is in no way a reflection of how much I adore you.
Also, I seem tone-deaf? How strange and unusual? Choking on my Cheerios 2 minutes before recording this probably had something to do with that.

I HAVE NEVER SAID THIS EVER BEFORE

"Man! Now I just really want to be in the men's room!"

Actually, I maybe have. That time our Grade 12 history class went on a trip to Ottawa and the lineup for the girls' bathroom at the Timmie's in Renfrew was at least 40 people long and I almost peed my pants I might have shouted that before I got my friend to check if there was anyone in the men's room and then just went there. My memory of the moment is not very clear, I was pretty focused on not letting internal organs explode.

The reason I said this today is because my boyfriend texted me this:

9:37- The pizza place I am working at has the chamber of secrets audiobook playing in the mens bathroom



Um. So weird?

And amazing?

I WANNA HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS THESE GUYS

All day.
Every day.



I also wanna see them in concert sometime. I think it would be a freakin' blasty blast.

MY FAVOURITE CATEGORY!

Texts to my Boyfriend:

11:46         How many people are required to be clapping for it to qualify as applause?
11:48         That query is the less-morbid cousin of "What do you have to do for your death to be   upgraded from 'murder' to 'assassination'?"
11:50         Every time I ask this I hope the answer gets better than "You have to be in politics"
11:52         I kind of hope you get these out of order. Then it'll be like Mystery Category Jeopardy!

PRODUCTIVITY IS MY MIDDLE NAME

Hahaha I think we all know that's not true.

I went to the library before class to get some work done.
Such a well intentioned endeavour.

This picture doesn't capture how awful my posture was, how dirty my hair felt, nor how hard I was laughing. 

But it's a start.

"I DON'T THINK I'LL REGRET PUTTING A SHEEP ON MY BAG, NOT EVEN A BIT!"

And I don't! I love the sheep. So tastefully done, no?

Sewing Stats (I know you all think sewing needs to sound more like a sport or something):

Date of Construction: June 4, 2012
Time Consumption: ~3 hours
Amount of Fabric: 75 cm each of lining and canvassy stuff (plus scraps for El Sheepo)
Can You Make Me One? Or Nine?: I could possibly be commissioned to make things for the polite kind of people who would pay for fabric, some of my time and possibly run me to the hospital if necessary.
"THE HOSPITAL?!?!?! WHY!?!?!"
Because sewing is a sport.
Injuries Inflicted: Just three two (the burn is invisible and only hurts a little). Fingers are scarring up nicely beneath their Ghetto Bandaids ("What's a Ghetto Bandaid?" I hear you ask. It is tape. Security tape from work, even.)

The Lavender Nails Really Class Things Up

CHILLS! CHIIIIIIIIILLS!

This song is so good.
I just couldn't hold that in anymore.
It gives me goosebumps. I mean, my windows are all open too and it's a bit of a brisk morning so that might be a contributing factor, but I'm pretty sure it's the piano that gets me

Also, while we're somewhat close to the subject, I disliked The Outsiders. Judge me. Whatever.
BUT, shouting "STAY GOLD, PONY BOY!" across parking lots and down the escalator at work when I'm leaving my friends/coworkers is one of my favourite shoutings to shout.

And you all know how much I love me some shoutings.

CONVERSATION WITH MY SISTER: NOBODY WOULD EVEN KNOW WE WERE DANCING!

Siobhan:

 I don't wanna go to class
 Promise you will make me laugh out loud so hard I almost get kicked out?
 That was my 11:11 wish this morning
Also, can we make up a dance maneuver called The Sneaky Pete?


Sophie:
yeah we can itll be as good as the shopping cart but maybe better
whose line time with crunchy grapes
 also collins pants are so belted and high

Siobhan:
 I adore when you aren't at work and can text me and give me the worst class giggles. the giggles are the only reason I go to lectures anymore.
 and quizzes, i guess, but I just write those as quick as I can to jump straight into the giggles

I HAD SOMETHING FUNNY TO TELL YOU

Naturally, I got completely sidetracked and don't remember what it was. At all.
I do know that it would have made you laugh.
I read Mindy Kaling's "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?" and basically died it was so funny. Funny in an "I definitely wrote this in my sleep and submitted it under her name because WE ARE SO THE SAME" kind of way.
That wasn't the funny thing I was going to report, but I thought it might be worth mentioning that if you are looking for a light, fun read then I suggest that. I recommend reading it in public; making passers-by uncomfortable about the Crazy Person sobbing "It's so funny because it's true!" really completes the reading experience.

As I have this page open to hopefully remember what it was I was going to say, I am simultaneously trying to finish a linguistics assignment. I am struggling because I don't pay attention in class (speaking of not paying attention, the psychologist(?)-lady with whom I spoke about this to yesterday [I just trapped myself in the ninth ring of grammar hell - Preposition Stranding- for like, 3 minutes trying to make sure I didn't desert any preps in finial position. I still don't think I got it quite right] thought I was hilarious and wrote a whole bunch of stuff on her notepad because that's what her job is. At one point she laughed so hard I didn't think we would ever get back on track [not that that is EVER a concern for me. I never end up where I was planning to. <----stranded preps. Oh noooooooo!] and she flipped her paper over and said "I have to write that down. It's not going on your file, I just need to write it down because it's so funny." Thanks Mary, I think I'm friggin' hilarious too.) Also, I think I need to invent some more parenthetical symbols for my thoughts within thoughts within thoughts. I hate these ones: { }. They look like faces who hate each other so much they can't even stare at each other across my words, and thus are ignoring me and what I'm writing between them. Like, come on Parentheses (what are they actually called? They probably have some fancy Latinish names. Like The Caesar and The Brutus), get over whatever the problem is and look interested in what I have to say. Otherwise I'll start using exclamation marks and percentage signs to indicate when I'm jumping off more tangental branches. Actually, I think I am definitely on to something here... If it's a "Hey this idea would make me a millionaire!" kind of thought I could put it between dollar signs. Circa $Patenting use of other, slightly relevant symbols as parentheses!$

I have been listening to a lot of Kesha these days. Let's forget this ever happened.

Where was I going with this?
Not paying attention in class. Right.

So because I don't pay attention I have trouble remembering what everything means when I'm reading the assignment questions and struggle with that. Then I have to search for online lessons and study guides and stuff and that involves google searches and that unavoidably leads to me watching videos about how Pterodactyls still fly free over Nevada.
(I just realized I said "circa" again. It's been, like, years since that last happened [when it happened hourly]. I still use it wrong, but I like my way so much better)
I found a study guide that looks like it's written for a slightly ADD layperson !much like myself! and was all "Oh good, I'll be golden after I read this!"

You guys, all the examples relate to superheroes.

I was ecstatic, and I'm not even exaggerating at all (and that basically never happens). Mad props to authors Laura E. Hughes and Anna Gartsman.

And then I read the phonetic alphabet example chart and then had to send this string of texts to one of my most favourite friends because I knew he'd laugh and that's my daily goal (this is like Conversations With My Sister with significantly less familial relationship [thank god] He doesn't respond either):

11:35 - One of the phonetic example words is "spandex". I actually spit tea everywhere. Understanding Librarian looked at me and shook her head like "Oh that Siobhan... such a card."  Like she's known me forever or something.
11:46 - I think there is a lot of caffeine in an extra large steeped tea maybe?
12:01 - This blog post is the single finest piece of literature I have ever concocted. Like a potion. It is quintessentially me
12:01 - Jesus I am on such a roll today.
12:01 - Like a fuckin' word hero
12:02 - I hope that you think that I am at least half as humorous as I find myself

For the record, he's at work. That's why he didn't reply. I promise he's real.
And he does think I'm pretty funny.
Because, you know, I need encouragement in that department.

THE DIMINUTIVE TERM "HANKY" MAKES IT NO LESS DISGUSTING

Today when I got to school I witnessed a guy get out of his car and immediately blow his nose into a dirty, blue grey? blue dishwater-coloured handkerchief.
Um.
Gross.
I get that it's allergy season. Believe me. My ears are driving me freaking insane. My lungs aren't working properly because they're all "Oh crap. Oh no. Oh shit. Pollen. You guys. Guess who's back. Back again. POLLEN."
I understand allergies.
I also understand that Kleenex has been making snot/tears their business since 1924. NBD. Except that it is. They have freakin' got this under control.
Maybe this dude is just nostalgic for a time before disposable facial tissues?
 No. 88 years is plenty long enough to adjust to the new form of mucous management. PS, he was 32 years old AT MOST.
Don't tell me about the environment. I know all that. And I know that my immune system is fairly useless. Carrying around a moist ball of fabric and germs and god knows what else in your pocket does not endear you to me. Kleenexes will dissolve. My failing midterms due to 103 degree fevers will not.
Lastly, that hanky was disgusting.

It looked like the bottom of my sweatpants after I eat chicken wings sans napkin.

TO ME!!!!!

I'm too adorable to be obnoxious. But just barely.

TOMORROW

Is my birthday.

But I'm not excited or anything.


I am a liar. I am totally excited.

NO COMPLAINING, JUST A GOOD CAUSE!!

So I completely got roped into this by my coworkers before I even knew what was really happening, but I'm completely on board. We're raising money for local support programs for kids and teens. They say I don't have to run. It will be fun. Check out my profile and some information about the event and Boys and Girls Club by following this here link:
http://bgccan.akaraisin.com/pledge/Participant/Home.aspx?seid=5146&mid=9&pid=976178
And if you want to donate any amount at all to sponsor me in the race then you can do that there too and THANK YOU SO MUCH

NONONONONONO THIS IS NOT RIGHT

Generally speaking, I hate sewing with patterns. The instructions are basically throw-away-immediately -I'm-useless quality. The amount of alteration required once you actually sew the garment is usually so intensively I usually just feel that starting from scratch and inventing a pattern as I go takes the same amount of time in the end. 

Regardless, I bought a pattern today. I am making my Birthday Dress (there might be cupcakes involved) and I needed some help with the skirt part. As much as I love twirly circle and half-circle skirts, I need some different silhouettes in my wardrobe repertoire. So I picked this one: 

I don't know WHAT they were thinking with that pink silk monstrosity. It puckered like a bitch and the fly looks super awkward. Jeeze Burda, Nina Garcia would be all over your ass right now about  knowing your fabrics well enough to make wearable garments. Get it together.

Anyway, I started to cut the pattern out once I got it home and the line went on FOREVER. Kidding, it wasn't forever, but it was long enough for me to shout "Why is this so long? What is this?! A pattern for pants?!" Then I laughed because Zoolander is always so funny. And then I checked. It IS a pattern for pants. The pattern in the package is not at all what I paid for. These pants were just hiding in the skirt package waiting to spring themselves on some unsuspecting victim. They had to hide to be sold, because they are HORRIBLE. 

Behold: 

To borrow a quote from my favourite bloggers, "Pants what?"* 

I can't even...

Like... 

Sweet Caroline.

This is a heinous crime. These pants, I mean. They are terrible.

So.... does anyone want a pair? Maybe if I make them in baggy-shiny silver we can pretend they're Flash Pants?

PS: Patterns are non-returnable, and non-refundable. Whatever, I'll pay my $5 to get the skirt pattern, BUT WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE PANTS. Honestly.

PPS: I'm beyond elated that the Youtube clip caught the end of "1001 Dads." Arthur saying  "I have egg on my face!" is prime.

*Holy Moly, I actually just re-checked the Pants What link... THEY ARE THE SAME PANTS. I HAVE A PATTERN FOR FERGIE PANTS. NO GOOD SHALL COME OF THIS!

A LITTLE BIT LIKE ORANGE JUICE

Vitamin D Synthesis at its Peak

I CAN'T TELL

If that's Celine Dion humming or a violin.

Or both.

I think its both.

Whatever. I can tell that with all the apartment cleaning and belting out of theme from Titanic that this Sunday is going to be fairly productive.

THE ZIPPER IS LIKE SHARK TEETH!!

Yes, it's as friggin' comfortable as it looks. Jelly yet?

Also, I figured out how to fold them as neatly as compactly as a hoodie (though this picture is all onesies, no hoodies for comparison). Admire the fine craftsmanship regardless. ADMIRE IT.

.

 I also folded a fitted sheet into a perfect little square today. My work experiences are clearly paying off.

I'M ON A DEADLINE!

This is, by a long shot, not my finest work.
Wobbly seams.
Lining is wonky inside.
Zipper was too long.
The whole thing is bigger than I'd anticipated.

But I still pretty much love it.

 "We got no troubles, life is the bubbles"

I think it's the lobsters.

Anyway, I'll probably tweak it a bit at a later date (ie. next week) but I'm on a tight schedule. I still have 2 and a half onesies to sew. And I have to pack and clean before I leave at 8am for a road trip with my dear friends and some ukuleles and a lot of fleece loungewear.

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SISTER: I'M STILL NOT SURE THOUGH

Siobhan Creelman says:
part of me is in love with nicki minaj

Sophie Creelman says:
i am

Siobhan Creelman says:
I think that part of me is my ears

A NATURAL DISASTER TO THE THIGHS MAYBE

I have one final left.
And about 6 boxes of Kleenex worth of sickness still in my body. Pretty standard really.
But I'm not contagious, and I wash my hands a lot (you're WELCOME world).
My two finals yesterday went as follows:

Astronomy
           8:00am:  These seats are assigned? Well I'm in the wrong spot...
           8:03:  I'm SO GOOD at filling out Scantron sheets! I wish I got bonus points for speed and accuracy in filling out my name and student number. Good start. Other than being in the wrong spot.
           8:07: I got this... I know most of these answers!
           8:14: Well eff you page 8.
           8:30: I think I have 60 of the first 90 questions most likely right. I can pass? I'm passing? I think I'll pass?
           8:45: Calculations... why are you so intensive? If you have more than one conversion and at least 3 steps I'm just going to guess the answer. I have a 25% chance of guessing right. I have a 100% chance of still not figuring out how to solve this problem an hour from now... Guessing it is.
           9:05: And that is as good as it will ever get. Thanks for that... learning experience.. physics..?

Incas and their Successors
      3:30 pm: Well I don't know any of this material.
      3:37: Yep. I didn't know a single one of those 40 answers. I'm failing the class? I think? I'm probably failing?
      3:38: Thanks for that... insight into my life?.. Incas? I still blame Zimmer.
       

Anyway, those are in the past. As is my take-home final that I wrote and handed in this morning (4 days EARLY!) And I just have Primatology left. I like primatology. I'm excited to review my notes and go over everything that I've learned! So excited that I made some cookies. Only 10. It was an experimental batch, you know how it is with new recipes when you're too broke to waste precious cocoa on a full batch of possibly Not-Worth-It-Cookies (they exist).
They're okay. They look like an experiment in plate tectonics. Hahahahhaaaaa, and they're on a plate. Have I mentioned that my sleep patterns are still thoroughly disturbed? Humour me. They're not my finest work, I'll probably take them over to the Boys' House and let them deal with it.

Natural Disaster Cookies... I wish I was more enthused about these. So much wasted potential.

In better news... my photography skills are improving? I think they're improving? Maybe? I'm passing?

UMMMM... INTERNET?

Why are there no pictures of carnivorous dinosaurs not shouting? No decent pictures at least, only like, shitty candids that nobody would ever want themselves tagged in because they're SO EMBARRASSING OH MY GOD GRADE 12.
It's not like this is a ridiculous request. I'm working on a thing and I just need a realistic t-rex looking mostly at the camera without its ginormous toothy maw hangin' open like Taylor Swift hearing she won another award.

Unless, you know, carnivorous dinosaurs were just super excitable and exclaimed everything all the time..."YOU GUYS! WHAT THE SHIT. I have FEATHERS!" or "ohMyGOSH IT'S STEAK NIGHT!"

"FOR THE RECORD: I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!"

 I'm so on board with that. I can relate.










*Note, I did not draw this Albertosaurus (can you IMAGINE?!). It is merely an example of the Internet's multitude of wide-mouthed dinos.

DEAR BRONCHIOLES:

As Cee-Lo famously said (ABOUT A KAJILLION TIMES):
"Although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best, with a f*ck you..."

Except I just want you to be better. Jeeze Respiratory System. BE BETTER.

BUT LUKE, MY INTENTIONS WERE GOOD! WITH BONUS REO SPEEDWAGON!

So I got home from work with the mindset that I would dig my astronomy textbook out from under the growing pile of dresses that I've sewn (what WHAT!) and complete my last online assignment (it's due tomorrow at 2).
I meant well.
But you know, I've been going on 4 hours of sleep total for the past 3 days and my allergies/cold is so bad that I just want to pass the eff out.
So I made some chamomile tea.

And took a bunch of Benadryl. Not suicidal amounts or anything (SO CHILL OUT MAN), just... a bunch.

You guys, I just spilled the tea in my bed and when I sat up to get a towel or whatever the puddle was mostly invisible and so I collapsed back on my pillow and figured it'll all be good whenever I wake up.

Also, I'm breathing like Darth Vader right now.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SISTER, A WILDLY DISAPPOINTING EXCERPT!

Siobhan says: I have sent a number of fantastic texts today
funny, on point,
good word usage
"Logistically" for example
and "resounding"
am I the only one who thinks I'm funny? Or that these are good words?
I wish you were actually available to respond and I wasn't just leaving you what are essentially typed voicemails.
Ahh well.
such is life
I just texted justin that "I will try my bestest"
and just like that, the glory of texting Dad the word "tutelage" earlier fades into oblivian

OH NO YOU GUYS TURNED ME INTO MILEY

I talk a lot as it is. It's just pretty much a constant flow of words from my mouth at all times, 65% of them irrelevant and unnecessary.
Turns out when I drink I talk even more.

WHO KNEW!?!

Also my friend was explaining to another friend that before I moved to Calgary I didn't drink. He apologized for unleashing the beast. The beast that can't be tamed!!!! 

On an average of one Friday or Saturday night every 2 weeks or so.

FACE IT, I AM NOT STUDIOUS: EPISODE 27 (IN WHICH I AM DEFEATED BY A MASTERMIND)

A MUSICAL MASTERMIND THAT IS!!!!

Hans Zimmer, you wily scamp.

This kid's just trying to learn about the Incas, and you're all "Hey, I wrote some of the greatest film scores that you know, and some of them are in your favourite movies. So while you try and remember what a "Uwiha Ch'Uyay" is, I'm just going to slip some of my hit tracks into this playlist. We cool, bro?"

We'd be totally cool if I knew Hans Zimmer and he called me 'bro'. I wouldn't even care about his obvious confusion of genders, the guy's a genius in other respects. Also, if he wouldn't write songs that hijack my limited focusing skills by making my ears perk up and then vividly imagine Simba finally figuring out his friggin' life after an evening getting smoked in the head by a mandrill with a stick and then talking to his dad in the stars and then racing lithely across the great savanna to bring justice back to Pride Rock.

I can't even apologize for that run-on sentence. It's The Lion King, you guys. It's just SO GOOD!

 In case you're not me and don't have this sucker saved on your computer.

 I actually even have it on CD. You guys, I'm such a hipster right now it hurts.

For the Record: "Uwiha Ch'Uyay" is an Andean sheep festival.
WHO KNEW!?!
Probably not Hans Zimmer, that's who. Sorry bro, that was mildly low blow.

PROBABLY NOT NEWS TO THE HISTORICALLY MINDED...

Long story short, Googling "Stalin sexy time" reveals that Joseph Stalin had nice (albeit slightly crazy) eyes. And a hipster ascot. Go Joe.
WHO KNEW!?!

"Hey Girl"

NO THIS IS AWFUL ON SO MANY LEVELS

It's just... flaunting my personal mirthiness. I hate that. But I'm going to do it anyway.

Six months ago today a cute boy asked me if I would like to be his girlfriend and I said yes.
Yeah, so that's still happening.

Even though this is also still happening:

PS. My best friend drew a picture of me as a ghost the other day. Spot on.

WHAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF! (NAMELY SUGAR, FLOUR AND DELICIOUS)

I finally finished the cupcakes at 11:30.

About a quarter of the way through I started with the "DEAR GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING!?"
I still haven't got an answer, just sayin'.

The kiwi ones (there were two and a half) actually taste pretty good! But they're a little bit green. Not green enough to be all "Oh Hai, I'm a green cupcake ON PURPOSE", but just green enough to be all "I'm delicious, please overlook my slightly off-putting colour to enjoy me."

"You guys can't tell, can you? Right? I look fine?"

 When it was over at last, I wanted to take a picture to document the quantity and quality of all 4 batches (*note: it would have been 2 batches if I had more than one muffin tin. BUT I DON'T). I took some pictures. As I was taking them I kindof laughed thinking they looked like an army. And they maybe were mobilizing to overthrow me.

"We never forget"

I flashed back to when I said that eating cupcakes is my favourite part of making them.

I couldn't sleep! I keep thinking what if I accidentally baked cupcakes of VENGEANCE!!!!!

What if I'm overreacting?

Because that never happens ever. HAhahaha!



AND HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Have fun! Get silly! Don't get mauled by cupcakes!

LIVE UPDATE!

It's taking sooooooo long! THERE ARE SO MANY CUPCAKES.

YOU GUYS! IT'S CUPCAKE TIME!

I'm such a terrible photographer it's almost funny

Not quite yet actually, sorry to get you all pumped up like my new kicks (I legitimately bought new sneakers today) These are they them? they -------------------------->

Anyway, I have to clean the kitchen before I can bake. Then I'll bake and have to clean the kitchen again. My favourite part about cupcakes has to be the cleaning up (I'm lying, my favourite part is eating them). I'm making a whole bunch tonight for my coworkers tomorrow since it's St. Patrick's day and instead of getting loaded at 11am we're all going to be selling fridges and pillows and bras to old ladies or something. I don't know. I don't pay attention all the time. Regardless, everyone likes when I bake and everyone hates when I run out of treats early. So I'll make more this time. I can't give you numbers, just, like, a whole bunch.

AND I bought kiwis today! And I have strawberry cream cheese. So I'm thinking I will do an experiment in which I make a whole slew of vanilla cupcakes then when I'm down to the last of the batter I'll turn it into a kiwi thing and then ice it with strawberry cream cheese icing. I have a suspicion that it will work out terribly, but that rarely stops me from doing things (especially harmless things like cupcake baking). What's the worst that could happen.

If it fails, I have a bag of Birthday Cake Oreos. NBD.

Just kidding. IT'S BASICALLY THE BIGGEST DEAL OF THE MONTH! IT'S BLOWING MY MIND HOW MUCH I LOVE MR CHRISTIE AND HIS FRIENDS AT NABISCO KRAFT RIGHT NOW (for the record I totally thought Nabisco had the whole Oreo thing tight in their cookie-fatted fists. I checked. I was wrong. Who knew!?!?!?)

Sorry, I thought I got that all out of my system like, 4 hours ago. Again, I was wrong. I seem to be forming a habit!

I'll let you know how it goes. Shortly.

"AWW MAN.... NOW THERE'S SPAGHETTI ALL OVER THE FLOOR"

I shouted that no more than 15 minutes ago.
You guys, today has not been good to me.
I mean, sure yeah, I woke up this morning alive, so that's good, but breathing is strugglesome (I JUST MADE A GREAT WORD!), my allergies are giving me migraines, my allergy medicine is honestly jacked full of caffeine so I'm not sleeping, I have a midterm that involves math tomorrow (please, just, no...) and I'll be at work instead of in the sun/in bed until late this evening. On my way home from school I did that thing again where I had to pee kindof on my way to the bus stop and if I'd just gone in to my boyfriend's house to pee on my way it would have been fine,
but I didn't.
And then the bus was late and I couldn't go back to their house to pee because I knew the bus would arrive as soon as I did! It was basically almost a disaster.

AND I got hooked on Dance Moms.

Just terrible.

In better news I might have some more doodles tomorrow if the asthma/allergies/astronomy doesn't kill me first.

WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING 92% OF THE TIME

So much more fun than studying

WORTH AN A+, AT LEAST

I'm supposed to be summarizing articles for class tomorrow. But guys, come on, they're pretty dry. One of them said "ethnopolitical" about 16 times on the first page and I said "Hmmm, this isn't going to be happening."
I was correct!
The other one isn't quite such a hard read, but I thought of lyrics halfway through page 5 and I got my ukulele on page 7 and then I started writing a song instead of summarizing. It's nowhere near done, but the lyrics are prime my friends. If I could hand in this song for marks, it would dazzle my prof into giving me glowing reviews and a 95 in the whole course. Well, maybe if it was about the Legacy of Mesoamerica... which it's not.
But it is adorable and that should count for something.

Proof to be posted when both summary and song are completed.
Could be a while, folks.

APPARENTLY, I HAVE A COLD; BUT IT FEELS WAY WORSE

"I'm a goat and I'm going to kick you in the chest... FOR A WEEK!"

WHAAAAAAAT!?!

I just found a section on my Blogger profile that details my blog's audience. People have actually seen this blog. 1808 people actually. A surprising number from Russia in the past month, I guess the ukulele is big there? Regardless, finding this made me realize that if people actually stumble upon my blog, I might as well give them something to read/look at/listen to more often than ever other week every few months. I'LL DO BETTER!!!!!

AW DAMNIT

Because, you know, I'm graceful and observant like that

FOOD LOGIC

Burned some toast: put more peanut butter on it
Burned some chicken fingers: put more peanut butter on it

"I WROTE YOU ANOTHER SONG"

.
"Gross."