Texts to my Boyfriend:

11:46         How many people are required to be clapping for it to qualify as applause?
11:48         That query is the less-morbid cousin of "What do you have to do for your death to be   upgraded from 'murder' to 'assassination'?"
11:50         Every time I ask this I hope the answer gets better than "You have to be in politics"
11:52         I kind of hope you get these out of order. Then it'll be like Mystery Category Jeopardy!

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