Texts to my Boyfriend:
11:46 How many people are required to be clapping for it to qualify as applause?
11:48 That query is the less-morbid cousin of "What do you have to do for your death to be upgraded from 'murder' to 'assassination'?"
11:50 Every time I ask this I hope the answer gets better than "You have to be in politics"
11:52 I kind of hope you get these out of order. Then it'll be like Mystery Category Jeopardy!