WHAT NOW, TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES? WHAT NOW!?

To the customer at work yesterday:

Thank you for saying I'm a "total babe" while I:
a) looked like hell 
b) hated every second of demonstrating how to use the Jelly Belly Manual Ice Shaver (only $14.99! You supply the power!)

I occasionally require outside recognition that I can, in fact, be feminine. I did wear a pink dress that I sewed and designed today. Then I came home, changed into my man-shirt that I turned into a long tank top and no pants, and enjoyed 3 day old pizza and beer while watching The Walking Dead.

And made cupcakes and another dress.

It's a modern world we live in my friends. And I am glad. I am fairly certain Betty Draper would love to have been able to indulge in pizza and beer and pantsless-apartment wandering and gory shows about the undead. Maybe she would have been less of a biatch if she had done so every now and then. Sorry Betty. The truth hurts.

For the record, Mad Men bored me half to death. I only kept watching it because the constant quiet dialogue with lack of backing music made me feel like I wasn't ALWAYS home alone when I moved in to my apartment.

It could use some zombies.
I'm just saying.

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY SISTER: ENCOURAGEMENT

Siobhan: I really want quesadillas
Sophie: ooh nice. Make one
Siobhan: I'm at work
Sophie: so? Ke$ha couldn't sing. Did that stop her? No, she found auto tune. You work at sears, the world is your oysters

THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT UNFAIR?

It's a bit of a dick move; posting these pictures of my latest sewing success when the intended recipient hasn't been able to admire it first-hand in all of its completed glory.

At least not with the head attached properly.
 There was an emergency involving a form of separation anxiety. Head became separated from body. It made me anxious.


Nevertheless, it has been dealt with.

So smiley! And both with such skillfully attached heads!

Anyway, it's not my fault that Creamsicle Panda is at my house and his owner? BFF? sidekick..? my boyfriend is in BC, unable to partake in cuddling the little guy's super soft fur and keeping me safe from zombies and other undead things whilst we watch The Walking Dead and reread Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (BTWs,  I don't remember if I blogged about it to say "Hey, this book is really good you guys!" before it was a movie or whatever... but I meant to. Because it is.)

But anyway, back to the bear. He's fuzzy. He's a panda. He's the colour of creamsicles. (I also forgot if I told you about my creamsicle cupcakes I made for my birthday? They tasted like creamsicles! In cupcake form! It was surreal!)

Back to the bear. He's pretty awesome.

And he's a superhero.

Of course he is. How could he not be when I was listening to the score from The Bourne Supremacy while sewing? I mean... come on now.

Try and do something NOT EPIC while this is playing.  

Here's the bear in his get-up: 

Pretty sure this is considered dancing... Pretty sure the dance maneuver pictured is, in fact, 

The Sneaky Pete.

NO, BUT REALLY, HEIGHTS ARE THE WORST

... but you are not heights. You are the opposite of the worst.

The quality of my lyric-writing abilities (poor) is in no way a reflection of how much I adore you.
Also, I seem tone-deaf? How strange and unusual? Choking on my Cheerios 2 minutes before recording this probably had something to do with that.

I HAVE NEVER SAID THIS EVER BEFORE

"Man! Now I just really want to be in the men's room!"

Actually, I maybe have. That time our Grade 12 history class went on a trip to Ottawa and the lineup for the girls' bathroom at the Timmie's in Renfrew was at least 40 people long and I almost peed my pants I might have shouted that before I got my friend to check if there was anyone in the men's room and then just went there. My memory of the moment is not very clear, I was pretty focused on not letting internal organs explode.

The reason I said this today is because my boyfriend texted me this:

9:37- The pizza place I am working at has the chamber of secrets audiobook playing in the mens bathroom



Um. So weird?

And amazing?

I WANNA HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS THESE GUYS

All day.
Every day.



I also wanna see them in concert sometime. I think it would be a freakin' blasty blast.

MY FAVOURITE CATEGORY!

Texts to my Boyfriend:

11:46         How many people are required to be clapping for it to qualify as applause?
11:48         That query is the less-morbid cousin of "What do you have to do for your death to be   upgraded from 'murder' to 'assassination'?"
11:50         Every time I ask this I hope the answer gets better than "You have to be in politics"
11:52         I kind of hope you get these out of order. Then it'll be like Mystery Category Jeopardy!

PRODUCTIVITY IS MY MIDDLE NAME

Hahaha I think we all know that's not true.

I went to the library before class to get some work done.
Such a well intentioned endeavour.

This picture doesn't capture how awful my posture was, how dirty my hair felt, nor how hard I was laughing. 

But it's a start.

"I DON'T THINK I'LL REGRET PUTTING A SHEEP ON MY BAG, NOT EVEN A BIT!"

And I don't! I love the sheep. So tastefully done, no?

Sewing Stats (I know you all think sewing needs to sound more like a sport or something):

Date of Construction: June 4, 2012
Time Consumption: ~3 hours
Amount of Fabric: 75 cm each of lining and canvassy stuff (plus scraps for El Sheepo)
Can You Make Me One? Or Nine?: I could possibly be commissioned to make things for the polite kind of people who would pay for fabric, some of my time and possibly run me to the hospital if necessary.
"THE HOSPITAL?!?!?! WHY!?!?!"
Because sewing is a sport.
Injuries Inflicted: Just three two (the burn is invisible and only hurts a little). Fingers are scarring up nicely beneath their Ghetto Bandaids ("What's a Ghetto Bandaid?" I hear you ask. It is tape. Security tape from work, even.)

The Lavender Nails Really Class Things Up

CHILLS! CHIIIIIIIIILLS!

This song is so good.
I just couldn't hold that in anymore.
It gives me goosebumps. I mean, my windows are all open too and it's a bit of a brisk morning so that might be a contributing factor, but I'm pretty sure it's the piano that gets me

Also, while we're somewhat close to the subject, I disliked The Outsiders. Judge me. Whatever.
BUT, shouting "STAY GOLD, PONY BOY!" across parking lots and down the escalator at work when I'm leaving my friends/coworkers is one of my favourite shoutings to shout.

And you all know how much I love me some shoutings.

CONVERSATION WITH MY SISTER: NOBODY WOULD EVEN KNOW WE WERE DANCING!

Siobhan:

 I don't wanna go to class
 Promise you will make me laugh out loud so hard I almost get kicked out?
 That was my 11:11 wish this morning
Also, can we make up a dance maneuver called The Sneaky Pete?


Sophie:
yeah we can itll be as good as the shopping cart but maybe better
whose line time with crunchy grapes
 also collins pants are so belted and high

Siobhan:
 I adore when you aren't at work and can text me and give me the worst class giggles. the giggles are the only reason I go to lectures anymore.
 and quizzes, i guess, but I just write those as quick as I can to jump straight into the giggles